PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
