woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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