it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
