just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
