My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
