What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize