i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
