i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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