Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
This toilet bowl is my home.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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