I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
