i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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