Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
