I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
