32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
