I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
