also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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