yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
