just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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