My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
