Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
