Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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