I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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