apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
