Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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