i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
