Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
