Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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