Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
