So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
