I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
