i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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