saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
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