Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize