I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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