They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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