that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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