It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
