Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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