He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
