I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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