I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
