Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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