hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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