can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
