so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
