I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
