don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
