I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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