I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
