Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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