Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
