You smell like stripper and shame
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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