end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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