wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
