i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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