The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
