Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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