Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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