I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
