so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
