Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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