i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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